Quinn,
THESIS: We use cool as a way to sheild our own personal beliefs and create a barrier between ourselves and the outside world.
Main Idea: Cool is a de-facto anti-depressent and a to protect ourselves from getting hurt.
Big Insight: The personal angle. Showing how you have incorporated these theories in your own life and the affect it's had.
Everybody knows the story about the big physical bully. He likes to make a punk out of all the younger kids who can't defend themselves but when finally chalenged by someone who is of equal strength the bully himself ends u a punk, and so it goes. I think that story ties in directly to what your trying to say. The bully uses his cool role (the tough bully) to sheild his own insecurities and feelings. A question that comes to mind; are those "true" feelings actually true or just a deaper complexity of the role of the bully?
1. A more direct and repeated thesis.
2. Some more questions.
3. Quotes and some more non-personal examples.
Great job
Will
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