Wednesday, January 20, 2010

NOT FOR HOMEWORK

Sarah, I think that you have a really good topic to be writing about and you seem to have a grasp on the material. You gave great examples about facebook and 9th grade and you were able to use yourself well throughout the paper. My main problem was that your paper was very broad at parts and Im not sure what it is your trying to prove. From conversations that we've had about your paper I know what your getting at but I just think that you should try to articulate that a little more clearly. I also liked how you talked about tattos and talked about Miley Cyrus and gaver your oppinion on her tatto choice.
One thing that you did that I thought was particularly interesting was comparing our distractions with jenga and the common ups and downs that go on, I likened it somewhat to a donkey with a carrot in front of him. Basically to wrap this all up I think that you have something really great to write about and my only suggestion would be to try and piece together all of your examples with something out of your own life. I think that would really make your paper engaging.

Good Luck

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