HW 17

Quinn, I think that you have some really strong ideas in the making. I think that taking those exerpts from your personal life really could make your paper that much better. I think at the end where you say that video games damage grades is a great place to focus because I'm sure that will get the attention of a lot of people. The only thing I would say is that I'm a little unsure what your thesis is exactly. Towards the end of the outline it seems that its taking a different focus then earlier in the outline. So I just think that you need to find that one sub-topic within digital and focus on it and you will have a great paper.